So I am going to get a bit serious this month. Don’t worry, next month I’ll be back with my “Rants and Raves” section, where I review all the movies I have seen over the summer for a quick “see/don’t see” short response format. In the meantime, I want to talk about something that has really been bugging me. It’s constantly frustrating, aggravating, and inflammatory. I am, of course, talking about the internet, specifically, the comments section on any social media site. I know there is have been a number of voices to speak out on this issue, but as I scroll down my pages every day, I can’t help but think there is something very wrong with our social media system. So I wanted to write for all the trolls, all the haters, all the bullies, no matter what side of any argument you are on (because yes, no matter what your politics, sports team, religious beliefs, or favorite color, these jerks are on your side of the argument, not just the other side).
I just have a simple question for all those people who spew venomous bile in the comments section of their preferred social media outlet: what are you trying to accomplish? I know it is hard to think past your initial knee jerk reaction of: “I don’t like it… it must be bad,” but stop for a moment and try to think like a reasonable human being instead of a two year old throwing a fit. What is the purpose of the all caps comment wars that rage whenever something mildly controversial comes up in your feed? Because whatever you decide your motive was behind posting your irrationally angry comment, I guarantee it would have been better accomplished by anything other than the textual temper tantrum you employed. Think for a minute; do you throw temper tantrums any more? Do you scream and wave your arms and pound your head against a wall and throw yourself on the ground and refuse to move whenever you don’t get your way anymore? Of course not, because you very quickly learned that a tantrum is not an effective tactic for getting what you want. It made adults less likely to give you what you wanted, and ended up being damaging only to yourself. Take a quick look at the last angry comment you posted? Does it look like the response of a person who has actually thought through his opinion and can defend it in the face of criticism? Or is it merely the sulking of a juvenile hellion who has just learned that there are “worse” words than stupid?
So I ask again? Trolls, haters, internet agitators, what are you trying to accomplish? Do you want to win your argument? Do you want to convince the other side that they are wrong and you are right? Because a temper tantrum will never accomplish that goal. Do you want other people to understand your perspective and to treat you like a proper person instead of a grotesque caricature? Then stop succumbing to your worst instincts, and respond to the criticism of your perspective in a calm, reasonable manner. When you yell and shout that your opinion is the only correct one you seem defensive, like you are trying to convince yourself that your opinion is the correct one. Step away from the keyboard, angry troll; stop, think, formulate a logical response. You believe your opinion is right? Convince me! Don’t try to shout me into submission, because that only makes me want to stubbornly push back and try to shout you down. Overwhelm me, not with the volume of your arguments, but their strength; a cacophony will never move an audience the way a symphony can.
All I ask is that you stop for a moment and think. Think that there is another person behind the keyboard somewhere in the world; a person who might disagree with you about politics, but who loves the same band that you do, or who watches the same shows every night. Every comment, every word on the internet does not come from some blank faced monster, but from an individual just trying to live their life the best they can. YOU are on the other side of that opinion you hate… you if you had turned right instead of left at the street corner, if you had gone to that school, if you had worked that job, if you had been born there instead of here. Treat the people on the other side of the screen the same way you treat the people standing next to you… like real, flesh and blood human beings, who can be hurt by what you say, and with whom you can reason, argue, and disagree. A person is not stupid because they don’t think the same way you do… they just have a different perspective. An individual is not evil because they feel differently than you about gun control, the Seahawks, homeschooling, or the color green; they might just come from a place where mountain lions stalk their morning jog, have a father who played with the 49ers, have loved the personalization of a homeschool education, or have darker skin that happens to look good with the color green.
I am not talking about tolerance and I am not talking about acceptance. Tolerance is a cheap halfway stance that has neither the integrity of outright rejection, nor the insight of true compassion. I tolerate the barking of the dog next door because it would be illegal for me to go shoot it. Toleration implies a total disgust with the actions of another person combined with the inability, due to legal, social, or moral constraints, to take the preferred action. You do not tolerate somebody you care for… the two terms are antithetical. But, while I loath the concept of tolerance, I am not talking about outright acceptance either. I can understand the motivations of an individual without believing that their actions are right or good. While I understand the compassion behind government welfare programs, I will not support them, as I do not see them as a practical or efficient way of accomplishing their compassionate goal. In a more extreme example, as much as I can understand the cultural, social, and religious considerations that justify the treatment of women under radical Islam, I will never accept that it is ever alright for women to be gang raped and abused. Compassion is recognizing and loving the humanity of a person, the way that they are like you, despite your disagreements and differences. As a Christian, I believe that the act of homosexuality is a sin. As a Christian, I mourn for the deaths of the individuals in Orlando, and for the snuffing out of such radiant, beautiful, sinful human lives like mine.
So to all the bullies, haters, and trolls I ask a final time, what are you trying to accomplish? Are you the proverbial child, pounding his head against the wall because he did not get his own way? Are you the insecure bigot, so unsure of your own opinion that you have to scream it so loud that you drown out every other voice, and never have to deal with the implications of thoughts and opinions that are different from your own? Or are you actually trying to convince someone that what you think is reasonable and has a value of its own? Because if you want to make a change, you will never succeed with poisonous rhetoric and expletives. Reason and compassion; treating people like people instead of monsters, are the only effective tools for true change. You cannot change minds that think you think they are stupid, and you cannot change hearts that feel you feel they are evil.
Well, back to reality.
